A Decent Alternative
The start of a new journey
The wind is rising!... We must try to live!
- Paul Valéry
If you're reading this, you probably know me (and my cats!) from my threads on Twitter or my former podcast Subnet Show. Welcome to something a little different!
I'm incredibly proud of the technical writing I've produced, but that's not the only person I want to be. I'm not a stereotypical hyperfocused engineer. Rather, I'm much more of a generalist, equally comfortable talking about literature, sports, and culture as the design of decentralized systems. At least 33% extrovert. Even in my work, I tend to bounce around between different areas rather than going deep in a single one.
As such, this newsletter will be a place where I can write differently. Crypto explainers will likely still live on Twitter, but everything else in my life will go out here. The material will be a mix of anecdotes about my personal operating system as well analytical breakdowns of interesting topics.
Stylistically, I'm staying away from distribution-optimized writing. I'm sure I'll cross-promote on Twitter, but I personally pledge to never write an issue that leads with "X is free university, but 99% of people don't know how to use it." My chief concern is producing quality writing.
This is my opportunity to be playful. With my Twitter threads, my goal is to write as simply as possible. Here, I want to go on crazy tangents and use lots of long sentences. I want to push myself and write about things that make me uncomfortable. Writing clarifies thinking, and I have so many more parts of my life that need clarification.
The last year of my life has focused on introspection and looking closely. I've repeatedly asked myself, what are the most important themes of my life? What are the most impactful lessons I've learned? What are the ideas that make me me?
My first attempt at answering those questions was to help myself build a David Perellian "Personal Monopoly," but over time, I realized that their significance was greater. These are my building blocks. If you look at me under a microscope, this is what you'll see.
So that's where I'm going to start!
An important principle for me is to let this newsletter evolve organically. I want its themes to emerge and develop over time. But I also don't want to jump in without a life vest. The following list is more inspiration than promise.
Here's what's been on my mind for years now.
1. Live consciously
I've come to appreciate two modes of life. Conscious living and autopilot. Almost all of my life runs on autopilot.
Autopilot runs whenever your brain uses its pre-existing routines and habits to carry you through an experience. I cruise on autopilot whenever I get ready in the morning, frequently when I work, when I make meals, etc. If you can listen to a podcast while you perform a task, you're on autopilot.
Conscious living is the opposite. It requires applying directed, analytical attention to the task at hand.
In any familiar environment, autopilot is our brain's default choice. But it comes at a cost.
On autopilot, you never change. You never improve. You never learn anything new or do something meaningful.
All the gains in your life come from living consciously. The trade-off is living consciously is HARD. It takes a LOT of energy. No one can sustain it indefinitely. You need to use autopilot to survive and not burn out.
But beware the trap! Once you turn autopilot on, it's hard to turn it off. My greatest fear might be waking up one day and realizing I wasted a decade entirely on autopilot. I never did anything new, hard, or meaningful.
2. Cultivate good taste and appreciate great art
I have a great appreciation for art and entertainment. I love it! It's crazy, people just make things that're designed to make you think and feel all kinds of stuff. What a concept!
I like it so much, part of me wants to make it. I've also learned that great works move you so much more when you give them your full effort. The more you understand what they're saying and how they're saying it, the more it can move you. And what greater feeling is there than being moved by great art? When lightning really strikes, it's unforgettable and life changing.
At this stage of my life, I spend the most time dedicated to the visual arts. I never doodled as a kid, so I have no skill to draw or paint. But I did love making movies. I learned about framing and compositions, and how shots are made. Then I spent my early 20s going deep in photography. I learned about light.
I always go through phases with entertainment. Now, I'm in the middle of a movie kick. I have lots to say here.
3. Looking closely is everything
If I had to pick the single most important skill any human being should develop, it would be looking closely. Our brains play a great trick on us. When we look at something, we think we can see it for what it is, but that's a lie. Optical illusions make this explicit. Our brains edit our perceptions and slap some filters on our eyes. Peeling back those filters takes conscious effort.
This isn't just a visual phenomenon. It applies to everything we perceive. If you want to improve your cooking, the first thing you need to do is improve your taste. You need to consciously think about everything that happens with a bite of food. You can't think in terms like "tasty," you need to break your experiences down into their components.
Once you remove those layers of abstraction, you can appreciate art. You can see what motivates people. You can hear what's actually being said.
4. Understand how you were made
Significant relationships are one of the hardest things in the world. They're also some of the most rewarding. The challenging part is learning that things you thought were just normal (anything from how to arrange a drawer to the right way to argue) are not actually part of a universal pact of human behavior. Instead, they are deeply personal and "up for debate."
One of the great journeys of the last year of my life has been unpacking essentially all of my behaviors and determining where they came from and if I actually like them. Are these things worth fighting for? As I start to think about having kids, I also ask if these are things I should consciously pass on?
The interesting thing I've learned is that I actually chose very little of who I am. And once I've figured out something's true origin, it starts to lose its power over me. It isn't "just the way I am," it's actually the result of a traumatic seventh grade incident. Some things are harder to shake than others, but separating myself from my behaviors has been extremely powerful.
5. Think in systems
The world is run by systems. Everything is related and everything affects everything else. When you want to solve a problem, don't apply a band-aid. You need to look at the broader ecosystem the problem lives in and try to understand the forces at play.
There's little point in solving a problem if your solution is immediately undone. Visible problems are frequently the result of larger, less legible problems.
Part of looking closely is realizing that the problem in front of you isn't simple.
And I've got even more on my mind! But I want to keep my promise to myself and allow my passions to wander.
I hope you'll join me on the ride.
-Connor
exciting!