Your network isn't your net worth - it's better
How relationships outperform every other investment
Hey there!
As Kevin Kelly says, having a friend with a boat is often better than owning a boat.
We all have our own strengths in life, but the value we create for each other far exceeds what we can create alone. Your network isn't your net worth; your network is the bridge between who you are and who you could be. Socially, emotionally, even financially. I owe my taste in Korean reality shows, my ability to talk to strangers, and honestly, most of my net worth to my friends and personal connections. And in return, I’m helping hundreds of people build the kind of friendships that lead to unforgettable experiences… and helping them write absolutely unhinged party invitations.
Today, I want to break down why having abundant friendships is a superpower that can improve every aspect of your life:
How friends create opportunities you'd never find alone
The hidden ways friendship compounds into every area of life
Why having someone to call when life falls apart is better than having all the answers
Let's dive into how real connections become your secret weapon...
The Compound Interest of Real Friendship
Unlike popularity which fades over time, true friendships create compounding returns that grow stronger with every investment of time and care.
When you're popular, people admire your image from afar. But real friendship operates on an entirely different level. Each interaction, each moment of vulnerability, each shared experience builds upon the last to create something far more valuable than surface-level adoration.
Here's what those compounding returns actually look like in practice:
Emotional Support that Compounds
Every time you show up for someone, it creates a foundation of trust that grows stronger over time. When you bring soup to a sick friend or answer a late-night call, you're not just helping in that moment, you're building the kind of deep trust that can only come from being there when it matters.
But emotional support isn’t just about crises — it’s also about celebrating wins and sharing everyday moments. And unlike money in the bank, it multiplies when you give it away. The more friends you have and the more you show up for them, the more support naturally flows in all directions. It creates a network of care where someone is always there when you need them most.
Sharing joys and sorrows together is the ultimate gift.
In my life: A couple months ago, I got hit with some rough news (dating drama, IYKYK). In the past, this would've knocked me into a multi-day spiral. But something fascinating happened — I couldn't even bring myself to log the day as "meh" in my mood tracker. Why? Because I had the right people around me to drag me out for an impromptu late night swim at Barton Springs. When I was ready to talk, they were there to listen. When I needed distraction, they knew exactly how to make me laugh.
Opportunities Through Weak Links
Here’s a counterintuitive truth about friendship: having diverse connections often creates more value than having deep ones in a single area. It's not that deep connections aren't valuable — they absolutely are — but expanding your social world into different spheres unlocks exponential possibilities.
Mathematicians call these relationships with people who don't share your other connections weakly connected links. Weak links are powerful because they connect you to new networks, ideas, and opportunities that your close circle might not have access to.
Think of it this way: Would you rather know five NBA players, or one basketball player, one Hollywood director, one stadium-filling musician, one venture capital partner, and one Michelin star chef? The second group unlocks access to five different worlds rather than just one.
Every friend from a different walk of life exponentially increases your exposure to new experiences, perspectives, and opportunities you'd never find in your existing circles.
In my life: Despite working in tech my entire career, one of my most memorable connections came from a completely unexpected place. Running late to a company dinner, I ended up being seated next to the team principal, drivers, and engineers of a professional racing team. After a raucous dinner and late night bar crawl, my new friends casually helped me accomplish a decade-long life goal of meeting Indy Car driver and Amazing Race star Conor Daly. Without the serendipity of these weak links, I may never have crossed drunk calling my alter-ego/rival/Google search results thief off my bucket list.
Living Without Masks
Perhaps the most powerful benefit of having abundant friendships is the freedom to be your authentic self. When you're "popular," you're trapped maintaining an image. But real friendship allows you to be seen and accepted for who you actually are.
Think of each friendship group as a different kind of investment in yourself. Each one allows you to develop and appreciate a different aspect of who you are. Instead of compressing yourself into a single dimension, you can let different parts of your personality flourish in the environments where they thrive most.
In my life: With my writing club friends, I can nerd out about the perfect punctuation mark or talk newsletter strategies. With my pickleball crew, I transform into a trash-talking competitor who hustles hard and celebrates harder. And with my life reflection group, I can be contemplative and vulnerable, asking the deepest questions about who I want to become.
Want more friendship engineering content?
I'm now sharing quick tips and frameworks on social media! Follow along to see these concepts in action:
Each platform features unique content to help you build your friendship skills, from quick tactical tips to deeper dives into social dynamics. Come say hi!
That's it.
Here's what you learned today:
Abundant friendships can improve every area of your life
The most valuable connections often come from unexpected places
Real friendships let you expand rather than compress who you are
Action step: Think about one experience you've always wanted to have but haven't because you "didn't have anyone to do it with." Write it down, then consider: Who outside your current circle could help make this happen? Creating this adventure is your first mission once you build your friendship network.
If you need any help brainstorming how, reply to this email and I’d be happy to help you out!
Your friend,
Connor
PS... If you're enjoying The Friendship Engineer newsletter, please consider sharing this edition or referring it to a friend. It goes a long way in helping grow the newsletter (and creating more friendships in the world).